American Morning
Are we too wired?
Terra Carmichael, a California mother of three, is part of growing trend: new moms “tweeting” their way through labor, sending out word of every painful contraction.
[cnn-photo-caption image= http://i2.cdn.turner.com/cnn/2009/images/08/14/costello.wired.art.jpg caption="Terra Carmichael says tweeting helped her morale during childbirth."]
“My husband was laughing at me because I was saying, ‘Gimme my iPhone, I gotta check my Facebook status,” she says. “He actually thought it was very funny I was doing this and was actually giving me ideas of things to tweet.”
Carmichael, who sells baby products on “FlyingPeas.com,” wasn't just tweeting to loved ones, but to hundreds of people who paid rapt attention to tweets like: "On my way to the hospital. If they even try to send me back home I just may punch them in the throat,” and “6 cm but with complications. C section-bound.”
She isn't the only woman who's sharing the birth process. But have we crossed the line? Are we too wired?
“Well, there was a very famous Supreme Court decision that says, ‘I know it when I see it,’ about pornography,” says John Abell, New York Bureau Chief for “Wired.com.” “I think we will, collectively, rise up and say, ‘Enough is enough.’”
Abell says that hasn't happened yet, at least not online. But some mental health professionals see it differently – saying some things, like childbirth, ought to be sacred. Clinical psychologist Jeff Gardere, who uses Facebook and Twitter, argues we share way too much online.
Facebook, he says, can become a "marriage buster,” because couples share personal information with "virtual friends,” instead of each other. “The Internet, if you will, becomes an escape hatch where they don't have to be intimate with one another, it's easier to be in some ways intimate with the world, but it's not a real intimacy, it's very superficial.”
But, Carmichael disagrees, saying she didn't share the most intimate details of childbirth via tweet – only the superficial. Tweeting helped her morale during labor. “People are writing and saying keep going, you're doing a great job. It's kind of like I had a personal cheerleading squad – a virtual cheerleading squad of my followers.
What do you think? Are we too wired? Tell us your thoughts.
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On Twitter
I find these comments so amusing – especially when they get personal. So I'll take a turn: Miss Marcia, if people didn't care, they wouldn't sign up to "follow" me. Seems you just don't understand what Twitter is: The only people that get my tweets are ones that have CHOSEN to follow me and hear what I have to say/type... It's not like I'm spamming people who don't want to hear me – the only people that saw my three labor tweets deliberately signed up to receive them. What part of this is confusing? Geesh...
correction...Terra...NO ONE CARES!
oh,please!!!!
Terri...NO one cares about you,your labor pains or your tweets!
Really...they don't.
Between our Iphones, blackberries, mp3 players, and quiet comfort headsets, we have completely cut ourselves off from each other. We may tweet and update our facebook pages to death so our so called friends can keep in touch with the mundane trivia of our lives, but when was the last time you turned all of that off and talked face to face with someone you cared about. I'm all for the new technology, but I think we all need a timeout from our devices so we can get back in touch with the simple pleasures of the unwired lifestyle.
Jst goes to prove, a transpareny international dwells in each of us;)
People on these social websites (unless they communicate with family, close friends) that write to people they've never met; need to get a real life, a full time job, or get some housework and yard work done!
YUP WE ARE TO WIRED AND THANKS TO THE FONY MEDIA ;ITS MADE EVERYTHING TO WIRED SO THANK U FONY MEDIA ????
THE REAL QUESTION IS "ARE WE TOO WEIRD?"
Bottom line. If you don't like Twitter – don't use it. If you don't like Facebook – DON'T USE IT! You have choices. Own them. Stop judging others for what they like to do. Just get out of the way.
p.s. Terra – you rock.
Absolutely! Between blogging,facebook, email and text messaging, I realized that I hardly ever have phone conversations anymore! Tweeter was the "enough already" wake up call for me. I do not have the need nor desire to know what all of my contacts are doing, every minute of the day!! As a result, I toned down the amount of time I spend sending and replying to messages. I truly missed having just plan old conversations.
I still hand write letters to my family, and send thank you notes through the mail. We have no cell phone, and get along just fine. I am on the internet a couple of hours a day, and I have tweeted, but I don't find it fun or necessary. I also am sick of being the defensive driver who has to make sure the rest of you are paying attention on the road...quit playing with your phones and drive!
I will not argue the fact that Tweets got to those that subscribe. I do not fault Terra for tweeting the three times she did during labor. I fact, my sentiments are not geared toward her in particular.
However, when it comes to facebook, things work a bit different. I discovered and became a member of facebook well before it was open to the general public. In my opinion, this was its downfall. Now, everyone and their mom (literally) became members. Then the concept of Twitter was born. Facebook had to jump on the bandwagon and allow a Twitter function when the revamped their hompages (against the wishes of many of the users). Though I love my little sister, I do not care that she is 'eating a banana right now.' I am happy to re-unite with friends from high school and college but I don't care to know that their plane has landed, but they are still on the runway. Facebook does not have a means for turning of these updates for individual people. If I am mistaken, then I apologize in advance and please share this procedure with me via email (hep06@hotmail.com).
I think Terra is fabulous. Big thumbs up from the UK!!
If you love to Tweet, then Tweet. If you love FB, then get connected. Don't be such haters. If Tweeting thru labor helped ease her pain or take the pain OFF her mind, then why not? (Have you gone thru labor before?!) So compare 12hrs+ labor vs. 15 secs to Tweet an update. Hmm... not much time wasted there, was it?
Social media have helped so many of us reconnect with many long lost friends and distant relatives and why is that a bad thing? And as it was said, you are all talking to strangers here and are wasting your time leaving comments on this site for others to read.... who's "too wired"?
Tweeter and FB haters, u all just need to go live inside a cave and connect with yourself.
Not at all. The technology is shrinking the world by breaking political, cultural and geographic barriers. Controlling the abuse (politics and addiction) is the challenge.
Well, obviously, some people take things too far. Personally, I enjoy Facebook as "One Big Party". You can come and go as you please, listen to other people's thoughts, compose your own thoughts, and you have the opportunity not only to teach, but also to learn. All this and the sanctity of privacy, (to a point), as well. It is a big boon to society as long as people are open and honest. I also like that I have connected with people I have not heard from in years, and that it gives me a quick, easy way to contact all my Facebook Friends.
Yes we are too wired, twitter is just another passing fad, soon something else will come alone and we will be hooked on that to.
Hey Terra,
Thanks for weighing in on the discussion. Your story got everyone's attention in the CNN Washington Bureau.
It's generated a lot of thoughtful discussion–just as it has on our blog.
One thing is clear: social networking is here to stay. As the guy from Wired Magazine said-we're just discovering and learning how to use it–together.
Carol
Following someone on Twitter or becoming friends on Facebook does not equate to unrestricted interest , approval or acceptance of every tweet or wall post. Exercise your right to ignore.
You ask if we are too wired??? Narcissism is running a muck in this world of Twittering, blogging, texting, myspacing and facebooking. Everyone thinks that what they say or experience is so important that everyone else needs to know about it. Frankly, I wonder why anyone even cares? In a world where everyone thinks they are important, no one is.
Wow – how interesting reading these comments. I wanted to clarify a couple things, because it appears that some people on here may not be totally clear on what Twitter is... I have 300 or so followers... those people have chosen to follow me – either because they know me (usually the case), or they think I have something interesting to say and want to follow (crazy people!). So, when I tweet, it's to people who WANT to know what is going on. In return, I follow 135 people. I choose to follow people I know and care about versus following strangers. This is a personal choice, and is a great way for me to know a broader set of people better.
I mentioned in the interview (though this part got cut) that social networking (specifically tweeting) is not for everyone. I'm a social person, so tweeting inbetween labor contractions to keep my mind off of the pain the next one would bring doesn't mean I was ignoring my baby or the process I was going through. (I really can walk and chew gum at the same time.) And it doesn't mean I can't focus on my husband and enjoy the intimant moments with him. Twitter only allows 140 characters, so don't think my husband (or my baby) is missing that 20 seconds that it took. So, let's see... I tweeted 3 times while at the hospital, so that is a total of 1 minute of the hours and hours that I focused on tweeting.
I understand and respect the opinions of people thinking we are too wired. I sometimes wonder the same thing. And it makes me sad too when I see parents with their kids at dinner and checking their email (though I won't lie, I've done it before), but I think that different people deal with situations differently. And if it helps one person to broadcast information while in labor (or whatever) to a group of people who have chosen to get updates from that person, what's the big deal? I still very much have real 1:1 relationships with my inner circle. Facebook and Twitter are just allowing us to know more and be engaged with our outer circle – but WE get to choose who that social set is... we can choose to be their Facebook friend or to follow them on Twitter. Again, it's a personal decision.
P.S. And for the record, I woke up 30 minutes before my kids this morning so I could watch the program (and now respond to this) before they woke up so I can be sure to have quality time with them. Take that, Meredith. 😉
P.P.S. Oh, and those of you who have judged me and others for communicting too broadly with "strangers"... you are reading this right now from a stranger and are engaging in social media. Gotcha!
to Ted in Portland: You rock!
We are way too wired, and I continue to fight it kicking and screaming. I reluctantly caved in and set up a Facebook account after numerous repeat invitations, only to be amazed at the insanely useless subject matter of the majority of the posts. How do people have time for that? ALL DAY LONG? Do they really think anybody cares that they're having a cup of coffee or they're idling in the drive-through lane at a fast food joint? Most posts appear as nothing more than little ego trips, and I was grateful to discover the "Hide" button! But then, I'm one of those people who actually employs the caller ID function on my cell phone. I like being able to choose with whom I share my time, and when, especially if I'm driving. The phone's ringtone is only an alert to an incoming call, not a mandate to answer it.
I enjoyed your piece on being too wired. However, I think it's important for your viewers to know that one of the people interviewed on the issue referred to the US Supreme Court's decision on, "Pornography," incorrectly. The Court's decision was on, "Obscenity," and had to do with a ruling on hard-core pornography, but is only part of a long discussion including pieces of art as well as new publications and fliers that are distributed through the US mail.
In 1964 Justice Potter Stewart stated, "I shall not today attempt further to define the kinds of material I understand to be embraced . . . [b]ut I know it when I see it . . . "
I think it's great. I will be eligible for Medicare in 6 months and frankly am jealous of the recent generations who grew up communicating world-wide in real time. If I had had this ability when my kids were born, I would be streaming the video of the great event to family and friends. Communication is the fodder of human existence and it's transcending political boundaries. This can only help us all understand each other.
As far as google being the single most important advance (ted in portland), studies have again shown that most Americans cannot use google in the method intended. We typically never go past the fold on the first page to truly research sources, and our children cannot distinguish between valid and invalid sources on google. In fact, wikipedia is now THE biggest research tool in the world. Another scary fact. Libraries are closing and stacks are empty of people in the library in lieu of this horrible trend.
We are too wired! I see endless comments to empty air! Pointless and meaningless blather.
Society itself is way too wired! I am seeing it more and more in the labor room as well. It is sometimes difficult to do patient care when the laptops and cell phones are between the nurse and patient. It is also bothersome to read blogs such as “On my way to the hospital. If they even try to send me back home I just may punch them in the throat,” If you are comfortable enough to be able to blog you truly are not in labor so it is best to stay home!
Terra talked about having a "virtual cheering squad" with people telling her how great she was doing and such. It struck me that we're now turning to our "followers" (who we might not know) for virtual encouragement. This truly brings a new meaning to "virtual reality" as we begin to replace the tangible world with digital media.
For those above that think it is a "fad", you are also dead wrong. Studies have shown that 8-18 yr old children have based their entire social and learning lives on internet 2.0 (social internet) and have completely forgone reading, actual socializing and schoolwork for FB and Twitter. The statistics don't lie. This is not a pet rock phenomenon, but a major shift in American society. Literacy and writing skills have suffered, vocabulary has decreased at an unprecedented rate, and to top it all off, technology has shown (through exhaustive research) to add NO value in the classroom (no increase in test scores and a drop in literacy). Again, statistics don't lie.
This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard of....today. I do not understand the need that people have to post their personal business on the web for all the world to see. Why would you want perfect strangers to know about your life? Are you that much of a narcissist to think that I would WANT to know about your "fab" life? Everyone wants to be "in the movies"......ridiculous.
We are not only too wired, but our children are quickly becoming "The Dumbest Generation" because of it. Children are no longer reading books, instead opting out for "screen time". The average child gets 296 hours of time between FB, Twitter and TV per week and less than an hour reading. For those that say the internet promotes reading, wrong! ETS (the SAT people) has proven that kids do not read the internet, they scan at best. I suggest reading "The Dumbest Generation" for the horrifying statistics of just what is going on with the dumbing of America.
Yes, we are too wired. I enjoy connecting with old friends, as well as keeping up with current friends, on Facebook. However, I don't need to know "I'm going to go clean the pool now" or "I'm going to the gym" – who cares??? What is especially irksome is couples "talking" to each other over Facebook – what, the telephone or email doesn't work if one of them is on a business trip? Facebook is the only thing I have and the only thing I will have – I am married, have two small children, and work full-time. I want to be able to spend time with my family when I'm not working and not be a slave to all the different social networking sites!
Yes, but does this really differ from the usual, legion send-out of printed baby pictures–even to people one is barely connected with? Later we learned to baby-plaster our T-shirts, coffee mugs, and then home pages.
Is the *act* of birth much different from the one-minute-out photo-op? Aren't these all just variations on a simple human theme?
The dumbing-down of America. I think people have inflated ego problems, thinking that the world is interested in their mundane lives. Remember telephone booths? People went inside them & closed the door. Why? – PRIVACY! Now everyone walks around blabbing away on the phone not caring a fig about privacy. I don't want to know that you are feeling bloated or that you are having a bad hair day. Remember "the valley girls"? – same sort of dumbness.
I think she must be really addicted to electronics to be on her I-phone while having her BABY, for all things! This is the precious moment almost EVERY Mom looks foward to. Appearently she didn't seem to care that she was going to see her own child for the first time, but what her "friends" said on her phone.
I don't know much about tweeting but Terra Carmicheal is my cousin. Her and her Husband are the pride and a daily source of inspiration to our family and friends. She is proof that it does not matter where you're from you can do what ever you want in this great land of ours,.Take that Nancy Pelosi
Hi Carol,
If we don't 'tweet' we're 'invisible/ and insifnificant? Finally! A 21st century method of discriminating against and excluding others. The old ways were getting so "last century".
Whether we're too wired or not isn't the important question to me - those who want to pay attention can, and those who don't can ignore it. What bothers me is that basic respect and thoughtful communication seems to be going by the wayside with all of the flaming. I see a lot of mean-spirited posts, and I hate to think that's the future style of talking to each other.
I think excessive social network use is a fad that will wane in time (it only a took a week for me!). It is fine in moderation, as all things are. Too much of a good thing is still too much, and as the apostle says, "All things are lawful, but not all things are helpful." It is a question of how you want to spend your time – I prefer reading and reflection to what can come across as shallow self-promotion. That said, it is fun way to get back in touch with people from your past – to the extent that you may want to! In the meantime, here is a "shout-out" to all my Facebook friends, sorry I haven't been there lately! Cheers, Nancy in NYC
I think we are approaching the limit of what society will accept. I dropped off of Facebook over a year ago and have never tweeted. There's a real world with live people out there. It's so much more interesting than what I see on this 17in screen.
As far as the woman tweeting during labor or others posting comments during personal moments, it's really sad they feel the need for approval so badly. Or they are so arrogant they think the world holds their breath waiting for news about them. Get a life!
I cannot imagine sharing every moment of my life with the world. For my husband and I childbirth was a sacred moment (hours) where we shared and I had the times between pains (natural childbirth) to quiet my mind and reflect on the miracle that we were blessed to be a part of. Sometimes we miss the most important parts of our lives by not turning off the noise.(Being a" ghost "when the noise has no substance is not so bad!)
Americans for years have been isolating themselves from each other. No more friendly neighborhoods, no more helping or caring for each other. Maybe twittering at childbirth is a way of bringing some of this back. Why would anyone consider childbirth be considered sacred? It is as natural as waking up in the morning. P.S. How about some real news!!! Your gossip station is becoming boring. No more real news, just gossip and using current affairs to encourage the fears(about the swine flu, about health care, etc.) being put out there by radicals. No wonder utube is so popular, it seems to be the only place where real news about the world can be found.
Do we (ie. other people not me) text to much? Perhaps, but then again there was a time when "everyone" was making a hulla hoop go round-and-round. Texting is nice because you can ask someone a question easly and conveniently without the problem of intruding on someone with a phone call which might be an inconvenient time for them. It is also more immediate than the mail (the kind with a stamp). I have to admit that I am a bit of a ludite; I'm responding to your question on a laptop. It's just so yesterday; I'm just saying!
Having been in the personal computing business for over 30 years, my experience with 'text on-line' has been a mixed bag to extremes. The good news: Google has been the most important and influential application in the history of the Internet, and is perhaps the single most critical technology we have ever developed. Our future as a civilization may well depend upon how well we use Google and other search engines like it to educate billions of children (and adults for that matter), and to enable citizens to break through "talking point journalism" and actually take a first hand look at the corrupt forces working towards the unraveling of our civilization and the destruction of our environment.
The bad news: the Internet has devalued the written word. There is so much information available, it requires sophisticated critical thinking skills and the ability to use search engines intelligently in order to find authentic content. As far as Twitter, Facebook, dating websites: my experience has been that people gravitate to these venues because they enable individuals to avoid the risks of face to face, real-time communication. Blogging and it's variations do not resemble real human communication at all. Authors operate under the illusion that they hare having their say, no matter how long they run on (as I may be right now!). Furthermore, the nuances of humor and inflection often get lost or misunderstood in a posting, notwithstanding 'emoticons' 🙂
Worse, there is an evolving generation of "people who live on-line", who hide behind their on-line identities, and use them to mislead and bully other more casual users. A few good examples: Wikipedia is riddled with members who have staked out some 'turf', and who routinely try to intimidate contributors. There are other venues where the regular members spend more time criticizing the form and content of postings by newbies than actually trying to engage in useful discussion.
The great potential of the Internet is to teach human beings to think critically and educate themselves about what is really happening to this world of ours. We are on a collision course with disaster in multiple arenas. The evidence is out there, all that is required is for ordinary folks to take the time to 'click and read...' I would recommend they back way off on their facebook and twittering, and use the Internet as a learning tool. In that use lies the hope for the future of our civilization.
How ironic. I am typing my comments on a blog. I feel that we are too wired. In a few short months, our society has relied on blogs, facebook statuses and tweets in order to know what is going on with our neighbor. At times, we 'establish relationships' with people we may never see face to face. We have an inherent need to feel close to these people, when the reality is, the relationship has never been more distant. Just because you can instantly tell thousands of people, "I am eating cereal" or "Headed to the pool" does not mean that you should.
Furthermore, I do not feel that lack of use of these means of communication will cause me to 'socially disappear.' Truthfully, those that rely on these instant information services are the ones that have disappeared. We were given five senses for a reason. Yet, the electronic age has allowed us to effectively eliminate four of them in an attempt to streamline relationship establishment. In reality, these relationships are false because it allows us to passively follow the lives of those 'we care about' while carrying on with things that- through our actions- we feel are more important.
When you're Tweeting in the restaurant, while nursing the baby or from the honeymoon suite, it seems your real life connections are bound to suffer. Your online connections don't really love you after all.
Sharing with friends and family is one thing, but do we really want everyone to KNOW intimate details of your life? People complain that big business and the government has too much info about us – is it really SAFE or SMART to put it all out there for everyone to see? I imagine we will have a big news story soon that will cause people to rethink this trend. We need to get back to knowing our neighbors and family – the people who will REALLY be there when we need them.
How pathetic; tweetting (or whatever its called) while giving birth. That is a total insult to her husband. I hope her children also don't come second behind her precious I- phone and network "friends."
Absolutely, we are TOO wired ! It is worng at so many levels . . .
We have lost interpersonal relationship ability when children
text each other sitting in the same car
We become more self-centered – assuming the rest of the
world cares ,or is interested in what we choose to share
We spend too much time that we shouldn't have. I for one don't
have time to take care of my family, pursue excellence in my work,
strive each day to be better, maintain house, cars etc, and try to
contribute to others to tweek, text, and be on Face Book. No one
else should either.
It contributes to the dumbing down of our nation, and the growing
of the idea we do what we want and some else will take care
of what we don't.
This is one of the "small steps" we take and end up wondering how we ended up where we are as a society,
Just because we can is not justification to. Decisions do have consequences !
Technology has barely started to invade ours lives, right now it is shiny and new, but you must realize that the Internet and DSL is old technology 35 years 50 old. You have not even seen the good stuff yet! Wait until things like electronic paper and real holograms gets away from the military, and into the public realm. The information flow has not even reached 25% of the world's population yet, and then the true explosion will begin!
If you're not on social networks you're a shadow and uncontactable....
Great , can't wait.
Paul
Northumberland, England
I don't particularly like how everything/everyone is completely wired to everyone/everything. But it's pretty much inevitable at this point right? You can argue that it's not universal (ie. international across the entire world), but apparently, it's influence sustains regardless of economic status.
It's amusing though – the breaking down of privacy barriers. Because sometimes, it is much easier to share personal details with random strangers (than your closest friends).
For people like me, who have friends all across the country, I could never be "too wired." Yet, I can see that many of us Americans, including myself, rely too much upon the internet to communicate when we should probably communicate more with our community and neighbors. Nostalgia has practically disappeared.
People will catch up.
Think about ICQ or other grass roots communication methods.
Do you remember getting in trouble for talking too much on the rotary phone or watching too much tv programs.
Honestly we have far too much guilt in our lives and it will be a sad day when too much communication is a bad thing.
I think the wired issue particularly the Twitter rage is just a short-term phenomena that will pass once people get tired of it. It's new so people are having fun with it. Once it becomes blase to participate, most folks will go back to sending emails and allow someone else at least 30 seconds to respond before calling 911 on their Skype phones. In the meantime, if anyone wants to see what my pet rock is up to, let me know.